Sex In The USA

Does a man's sex drive decrease as he gets older?

Monday, December 21, 2009





Men will always say that their sex drive never changes.

Ladies, we all know this is just their ego's talking shit. If you have been with a man for a long period of time, you know that their sexual desire goes up and down during different times of their life.

Many factors in a man's life can decide whether it will be up or down! Listed below are some of the main factors that can contribute to a low sexual desire.

Stress.
Fatigue.
Working to much.
Medication being taken.
Dissatisfaction with the current relationship.
Lack of desire for current partner.

It is however a fact, that every man is different. For instance a man can be 20 with a very low sex drive, depending on what is going on in his life at that specific time. You can then have another 20 year-old whose life is just as chaotic, whose sex drive is completely off the charts. It just depends on how the person reacts and deals with specific events in their daily life.

The amount of testosterone a man has does play a role in his sex life. Testosterone levels are at their highest when they are in their late teen years and gradually begins to decrease as they get older. Once it begins to decrease, the male does notice that it takes a little longer for erections to arise. Sometimes, over the age of 45 men will need that extra little "boost" to get the engines going. It will start, it just takes a lil time and effort.. :-)

If you notice a decrease in your lovers sexual desire, here are some ways to boost it up naturally!

1. Get him out and about... Increased physical activity always helps.

2. Try and keep him away from foods that are high in fat and carbohydrates.

3. Add some avocado, bananas, almonds, celery and oysters to their diets. These foods are known to improve your libido enormously if eaten regularly.

4. Try and reduce stress, if any in his life. Stress can be a major factor in a man decreased sex drive.

5. Add some spice to your life.. Change the old, boring routine to something spicy & exciting..

6. Last but not least.... TRY not to make it known that you know! Men's ego's are just as bad as women's. Keep it quiet and be patient. Things will be back to its normal speed in no time !










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50 Percent of Men Have Faked an Orgasm.. REALLY??

Sunday, May 24, 2009

According to the results of a poll from the eHarmony online dating service, almost 50% of men have faked an orgasm!

Bet you didnt know that faking orgasms isn't just for the ladies anymore! An astounding forty eight percent of the 9,100 men polled on eHarmony.com say they have faked an orgasm.

According to the results of a poll from the eHarmony online dating service, almost 50% of men have faked an orgasm! Bet you didnt know that faking orgasms isn't just for the ladies anymore! An astounding forty eight percent of the 9,100 men polled on eHarmony.com say they have faked an orgasm.

"When it comes to faking orgasms, people assume that it's primarily done by women," says Ambrose Moore, an editor at the eHarmony Magazine. She recently researched the topic and wrote a story on the practice, or lack thereof, of faking orgasms. "The poll we conducted on eHarmony shows us that it's definitely not just women who are faking it, but a large number of men as well."

How can men do this? "Wearing a condom makes it easy," says Moore. "According to my research, the men who have faked an orgasm without a condom just told their partners they didn't ejaculate very much."

Many of the reasons men fake orgasms are similar to those of women, they just want to be done, they are tired, or they just aren't into sex that night says Moore. Some felt they were lacking an emotional connection, or thought they were going to lose their erection.

In comparison to the men, eight-two percent of the 6,350 women who were surveyed say they have faked an orgasm.

eHarmony is ranked among the top 10* worldwide dating sites.

A leading provider of products and services designed for singles, eHarmony connects, engages and entertains through a variety of web offerings.

* Source: Combination of comScore Media Metrix and eHarmony. eHarmony estimates that it ranks in the top 10 worldwide when publicly quoted statistics are adjusted to reflect traffic assigned to other web sites.

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History of the Vibrator ...

Saturday, May 23, 2009


The illustrious history of the electric vibrator begins in 1869 with the invention of the steam-powered massager, patented by an American doctor. This device was designed as a labor-saving medical tool for use in the treatment of "female disorders." Within twenty years, a British doctor followed up with a more portable battery operated model, and by 1900, dozens of styles of electric vibrators were available to the medical professional.

Treating Hysteria

What, you must ask were these esteemed physicians doing with their vibrators? They were treating hysteria-the most common health complaint among women of the day. While the existence of hysteria as a disease was debunked in the 1950's, medical experts from the time of Hippocrates up to the twentieth century believed that hysteria expressed the womb's revolt against sexual deprivation. A woman's display of mental or emotional distress was a clear indication of her need for sexual release. Genital massage was a standard treatment for hysteria; its objective was to induce "hysterical paroxysm" (better known today as orgasm) in the patient.

Health, Vigor and Beauty

Ours being a consumer society, the vibrator was soon marketed as a home appliance in women's magazines and mail-order catalogs. Ads proffering "health, Vigor and beauty" promoted the vibrator as an aid to health. By the 1920's, doctors had abandoned hands-on physical treatments for hysteria in favor of psycho-therapeutic techniques. But Vibrators continued to have an active commercial life in which they were marketed, much like patent medicines, as cure-alls for illness ranging from headaches and asthma to "fading beauty" and even tuberculosis. The vibrator's usefulness for masturbation was never acknowledged; however, as vibrators began appearing in stag films of the 1920's, it became difficult to ignore their sexual function. Probably as a result, advertisements for vibrators gradually disappeared from the respectable publications.

Recent surveys suggest that 75% of American woman now own a vibrator and the very latest model to hit the shelves actually reacts to voice commands – hands free you might say. You can even personalise commands if you have a favoured way of demanding attention. Men, it seems, are rapidly being replaced by miniature robots that will obey a woman’s every desire. Welcome to the 21st Century.



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What Your Sex Dreams Are Trying To Tell You - By Gillian Holloway

Saturday, May 23, 2009



Research into dreams shows they often contain important clues about what makes us happy or stressed, and how we can navigate between the two. Look at the common symbols many women share, and see if they match your nighttime adventures.


Theme: Old Flame Reruns
You are back in a former relationship in your dreams. This implies that your current relationship is causing emotional flashbacks to a previous connection. This is like a love memory that is ignited as we begin to care and get close again. If the memory is a bad one, consider if there are similar patterns afoot. If the memory is a good one, take heart, and let things unfold.

Theme: Coworker/Friend is Your Lover
In this dream, you are intimate with someone you know well and would never give a thought to as a possible partner in passion. Don’t freak out. Dreams with unlikely partners are usually about working together or enjoying the chemistry of doing something well together. These dreams are an indication of sparks all right, but probably professional rather than sexual.

Theme: Stalked by an Assailant
These nightmares reflect anxiety about some stressor, or person, who is making you feel hounded. These dreams often arise early in a new flirtation, and should be monitored. It may be jitters, or it may be a signal to keep your eyes open and stay wary for a little while, until you get better acquainted.

Theme: Celebrity Encounter
You are the favored lover of a famous person who is revered for some talent or profession. This is more than a treat! It suggests you have a special ability or unique interest that you feel more passion for than you let on. Get organized and let yourself do what you love, if not professionally, then as a refreshing hobby.

Theme: Interrupted Passion
At the height of an enjoyable tryst, someone walks in and interrupts the moment. This obvious scene of frustration is usually a reflection of a real-life intrusion into your more private and treasured moments. Is work, extended family, or some other worry encroaching on your space? Be mindful of intrusions and place a high priority on personal time with your special someone.

Theme: Nowhere to Make Love
You are trying to have a quickie somewhere, but finding a moment of privacy is impossible in this dream! This suggests that the search for intimacy, sexual and emotional, is tough right now. You may be going through a separation, a disenchantment, or be feeling discouraged about relationships. If you’re still feeling stung by a bad experience or hurt feelings, it can take time for that dampening effect to wear off. Give it time.

Gillian Holloway, Ph.D. is the author of Erotic Dreams: The Secret to Understanding Women's Hidden Passions. She teaches psychology at Marylhurst University in Portland Oregon and leads dream analysis classes and workshops. Her research website is www.lifetreks.com. Photo © iStock/Alex Bramwell
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What Men Think About During Sex : By David B. Moye

Saturday, May 23, 2009



It’s no secret that guys let their penises do a lot of their thinking, but, believe it or not, during sex a man’s brain works almost as hard as the brain between his legs. But it’s not so much what he’s thinking as why he’s thinking about it that should interest you. Find out what men think about during sex—and whether you should be worried.

Premature ejaculation.
Performance anxiety is a very real fear for the majority of men. That’s why almost every one of us has devised techniques to stay in the zone, including memorizing baseball statistics or doing multiplication tables.

Some, like Charles Leone, imagine they’re a power tool during sex.

“I used to have a problem with premature ejaculation until a friend I confided in told me I was thinking too much,” Leone says. “His technique was to imagine I was a power tool like a drill or even a sander. Something that just stays on when it’s turned on—like the Energizer Bunny, but more masculine.”

Leone says the tool-oriented technique helped calm his nerves by making him focus on the physical act, rather than his nervous mental state.

In order to avoid premature ejaculation a lot of men distance themselves. And, sadly, the more a guy likes a girl, the more likely he is to climax too soon—and the more he’ll need to distance himself. Sex expert Brandon Maxwell, creator of The Maxwell Multiple Climax, a sexual technique that allows guys to climax over and over again without ejaculating, says that’s why many guys avoid eye contact during sex.

“Guys are visual creatures,” Maxwell says. “If they see that the woman they like is aroused, that’s enough to make them come quick.”

That emotional distance that helps him last during sex often carries over to other parts of the relationship. For instance, Maxwell says those so-called “bad boys” who act like they don’t care about women usually have performance anxieties. In order to deal, they turn off their emotions and say, “I’m just going to do this for me.” They may last longer in sex, but their emotional relationships are usually short once a woman realizes the guy can’t fulfill her emotional needs.

Other women.
Even a man who is dating the sexiest woman in the world may occasionally think of someone else during sex: a celebrity like Angelina Jolie or that gal at the local coffeehouse.

It doesn’t mean the guy wants to leave you or cheat on you, but, sometimes, a fella likes variety even when he’s made the choice to be monogamous. Actually, ESPECIALLY if he’s made the choice to be monogamous.

Byron “Big-Naz” Williams, the former bodyguard of raunchy rapper Eminem, as well as the author of a new book, Womanizer: The Uncomfortable Truth About Men and Marriage (Xlibris), puts it this way:

“Even during the best marriage, the sex gets monotonous. So a guy relies on sexual flashbacks where he thinks about his freakiest sex encounters from, say, 10-15 years ago. The key is not to get so caught up in the memory that you shout that other woman’s name, which is why I say ‘Baby’ is the only name you should ever call out during sex.”

Knowing your man might be thinking about someone else during sex can definitely make some women feel insecure. Because of this, their boyfriends try to keep any crushes a secret.

Whatever it takes when they’re not in the mood.
"Sometimes, guys who haven't had sex in awhile will do what we call, ‘Screwing for pride.’” says Mike Hoffman.

"If we do meet a girl who is willing, we'll put our all into it—even if we're not that turned on by her. So, we'll be trying to make up for lost time and lost opportunities and we will try to imagine we're having sex with someone we really wish we were with," says Hoffman.

There may be no way of knowing what the guy you're with is thinking about—but it’s not like women are exactly innocent either. Was that Brad Pitt floating through your mind last night? Yeah, I thought so.
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Great Sex Toy Sites For You To Enjoy

Saturday, May 23, 2009



Most people who enjoy sex, also enjoy using sex toys to enhance their sexual experience. I of course am one of them, and these are some of the great sites I frequent looking for great deals and quality products... Go take a look around....

Nights of Erotica Adult Play Toys


SexToy.com

AdultToyChest. com

Adam & Eve - Check out their blog as well at Adam & Eve Blog !



Eden Fantasy's

Xandria Collection Intimate Pleasures

XXX Live - Free Shipping on all orders in the US
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International Swingers Day is August 15, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009



Be sure to check out all the events happening all throughout the country....

International Swingers Day 2009 Events
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Swinger Sites on the Internet..

Friday, May 22, 2009


If you are not familiar with the "Swinging" lifestyle, here is the definition to get you to understand exactly what it means.

Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric (taking a male-oriented point of view) and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.

I have posted a few of some of the worthy swinger sites on the internet for you to enjoy... Unfortunately, there are not many available online that I have found so far. I will however keep looking and updating this post when I find more !

Swingers Net is an extensive list of clubs throughout the United States. So if your looking to have a good time, check them out !

Swingers Board is a great place for swingers new to the lifestyle as well as old timers. You can find swingers ads, swinger pictures, swinger blogs, swinger articles, and much more. Take the time a give them a visit!

NASCA International is a top website that offers a directory of swing clubs, swing activities/events, and publications. Drop by the site and find exactly what you are looking for.

123 Couples is designed for genuine swingers who want to make contact with other consenting adults for lifestyle fun. Go and check it out for yourself !

Club Swing is a great website for swingers if you are looking to find someone to hook up with. Take a look and see exactly what they have to offer.

Adult Friend Finder is one of the most popular swingers sites on the internet today.. Find that someone for you and your partner to enjoy.. Membership is required for full benefits of the site.

Swappers Net is also another very popular site for swingers or those looking to get into a swinging relationship. Membership required for full benefits of the site.
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Check out the Beautiful Erotic Art of Peter Kunz

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I have to say there are not too many erotic & sensual artists in which I fancy. After seeing the gallery of Peter Kunz, I am very impressed and absolutely adore each piece he has to show. Take a look for yourself and then tell me how amazing his pieces are.

Erotic & Sensual Art of Peter Kunz

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500 Person Orgy !!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

500-person-sexpreview

Can you imagine 250 couples having sex at the same time? Well, now you can watch it on 500 Person Sex that was released by Japanese adult video production house, Soft on Demand (SOD) on 4th May 2006. It is the largest known sex orgy recorded.

The 130 minute video, was produced by in-house production company SODcreate, and directed by Tsuchiya Yukitsugu

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Did you know, the most popular dildo is……….

Thursday, May 21, 2009



bananas

carrots

Various fruits and vegetables.. Yes you read it right, according to World Sex Records women have used more bananas, zucchini’s, carrots, eggplants, squash and many other fruits or vegetables for replacement of a penis more than anything else. It is also known that a candle is actually the most widely used artificial device.. Food for thought huh..

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Trojan Vibrating Condom

Thursday, May 21, 2009



Shake things up in the bedroom. The TROJAN® Vibrating Ring is designed to enhance the pleasure of both partners through intimate vibrations.

* Safely powered by a small battery enclosed in a soft casing

* Lasts up to 20 minutes

* Every ring is quality inspected to ensure reliability

* Raised dot adds increased pleasure

* May be used with or without a condom

* Available wherever quality TROJAN® Condoms are sold*

* Includes 1 TROJAN® premium latex condom

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Tootsie.Talk

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Tootsie.Talk

You are going to love it……

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Sex Toy Facts & Myths

Thursday, May 21, 2009


sex-toys

Myth: Sex toys are only for people who have a bad sex life, or no sex life

Sex Toy Fact: Sex toys are for anyone ! Bad sex life, good sex life, awesome sex life, my sex life, your sex life, sex toys are for anyone !

Myth: Sex toys are addictive:

Sex Toy Fact:Addiction implies harm, and there is nothing harmful about using sex toys (as long as they’re used properly). It’s true that people can become used to using sex toys, and even come to rely on them, but there is no “withdrawal” and anyone can easily get themselves back to masturbation or partner sex without sex toys. People who suggest that vibrator addiction is real tend to be people who think that any sex toy use is too much sex toy use.

Myth: If a woman has a sex toy, she won’t need a man:

Sex Toy Fact: Sex toys are not replacements for people. A sex toy won’t make you breakfast, or cuddle, or tell you how much it loves you. Many men are intimidated by sex toys because they have been raised with the idea that the most important thing about them is what’s between their legs. These myths about male sexuality sink in early, and as a result most men are insecure about their sexual importance. Also, let’s remember that there are lots of women who don’t want a man in the first place, and a sex toy isn’t going to change that one way or the other.

Myth: Guys only use sex toys because they can’t get any “real” sex:

Sex Toy Fact: The cliche about men and sex toys is the guy in the raincoat, buying the “masturbator” and watching porn in his basement while masturbating. The reality about men and sex toys is that millions of them use them, in one study it was 21% of respondents, both when they are in relationships and single. The best way for a man to become a better lover is to learn more about his own sexual response. Masturbation, with or without sex toys, is the key to this, and to learning to control ejaculation. Using sex toys doesn’t mean a man is a loser, it means he’s smart, and likely to be better in bed for it.

Myth: Sex toys make sex less natural:

Sex Toy Fact:Most of us are raised being told many lies about sex among them that “natural sex” means one thing only. Is drawing less “natural” when we use a pencil and paper? Is painting more “natural” if we use our own blood, rather than paints? Of course not. Yet sex is somehow less “natural” if we use tools and toys to make it different. Sex toys are animated not by batteries but by our imaginations, and using sex toys is as natural as the people using them.

Myth: There are bad sex toys and good sex toys:

Sex Toy Fact: With the exception of a few sex toys that pose obvious risks, there is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” sex toy. Sex toys are whatever we do with them. A vibrator that would be too strong, too heavy, and painful for one person might be perfect for another. A dildo that feels sticky and looks weird to one, might be the ideal shape, size and texture for another. The trick is to find the sex toy that’s right for you, but most sex toys will be good for some people, and bad for others.

Myth: The more you pay for a sex toy, the better it is:

And the more you keep thinking this, the more money you are going to waste. Yes, there are some fabulous, very expensive sex toys on the market today. That does not mean that the toys that are cheaper do not work. I have a 40 dollar pocket rocket, and it works just as good as the 200 dollar one. No doubt :-)

Myth: Sex toys are kinky:

Fact: Words like “kinky” and “normal” are completely relative and while they may govern what you feel comfortable talking about (or doing) in public, the sooner you realize that everyone is “kinky” behind closed doors, the happier and less stressful your sex life will be. Sex toys don’t make sex kinky, and using them doesn’t “say” anything about the kind of person you are, other than the fact that you’re the kind of person who feels worthy of sexual pleasure. Which is a highly respectable reputation to have in any social circle.

Myth: Sex toys can cause damage to your body:

Sex Toy Fact: A lot of things can damage your body. Sex toys of course can be included in that scenario if you use them in ways that should not be used. You cannot take a 10 inch dildo that has no balls and stick it completely inside someone ass without losing it. Chances are the ER doctor will be removing it. Use your brains with this one. Commen sense is all you need. Sex toys do not cause our bodies damage, we do.

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BedPoster.com – The site that keeps track of your sex life !

Thursday, May 21, 2009


sexcalendar

Is it for you?

All you have to do is sign up, and then continue signing in after each sexual encounter that you have. It makes a calender for your eyes only..

The whole purpose of BedPoster.com is “”Ever wonder how often you get busy?”" !!

So go check it out and come back here and tell me if it works for you !!

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In Search of the “Perfect” Vagina: Women Spend and (Spread) to Achieve Porn Ideal

Thursday, May 21, 2009

vagina

“It doesn’t look right,” said forty-two-year-old Carla Westman*. “Like I’m uneven, like one side is larger than the other and as I’ve gotten older, I think one side is stretching. Before I could close my legs and you couldn’t see anything but now one side peeks through just a tiny bit more than the other, and that just bothers me.”

To clarify, Westman, a pharmaceutical rep from Phoenix, Arizona is feeling old. More to the point, she’s blaming her vagina, or labia to be exact. And bizarre as it may sound, she is not necessarily alone.

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, approximately a thousand “vaginal rejuvenations” were performed in 2006 — the most current year for which U.S. statistics have been compiled — up 30 percent from 2005. In the United Kingdom, the number of labiaplasties performed doubled between 2000 and 2005, reaching over eight hundred procedures per year. While these accounts may be nothing to write home about yet, the limited data available (no one database records all instances of Female Genital Cosmetic Surgery) do suggest that the procedures, and the demand for such, are growing exponentially.

“The search term labiaplasty is one of the highest searched things that lead to somebody finding me on the Internet,” confirmed Dr. Scott W. Mosser, a board certified plastic surgeon based in San Francisco, who has been performing labiaplasties for the past four years. But despite the high traffic to his website, Dr. Mosser only performs about a dozen labiaplasties per year, leading him to speculate that people are less than comfortable with the procedure.

Said Dr. Mosser, “When we look at all the other procedures [that I do], the amount of individuals who search them is pretty proportionate to the actual amounts of individuals who come in for a consult. That tells me that labiaplasty may be a little bit in the dark; that women are nervous about it; or maybe it’s an area that’s perceived to be a little bit of taboo.”

What is labiaplasty?

For those still unfamiliar with the procedure, labiaplasty involves the surgical reduction and “beautification” of the labia. Women typically request the procedure for a triad of reasons. These include both visual and physical complaints ranging from discomfort during exercise and vaginal intercourse, to discomfort simply from wearing clothing, in particular when the labia minora get caught between the elastic folds of underwear, to complaints like Westman’s, where women are dissatisfied with a lack of symmetry, discoloration, or the appearance of their labia in general.

Dr. Mosser admits that while there is no true dirtiness to having labia hypertrophy, there does seem to be a psychological desire amongst women to have their genitals look organized or clean. “There is a real trend towards sort of a perception of a clean look, whatever that means, that is associated with youth,” said Dr. Mosser. Nonetheless, he is adamant that anything that is distracting enough to interfere with a person’s quality of life or lifestyle is something that should be addressed.

Is Porn Pushing ‘Ideal Genitals’?

Others, however, are not so convinced.

“Society has changed across the last little while to a context in which cosmetic surgery in general and cosmetic procedures in general have become incredibly normalized,” said Dr. Virginia Braun, a psychologist from the University of Auckland specializing in women’s health and sexuality, and the current co-editor of Feminism and Psychology. “But our knowledge of women’s genital anatomy is still not — we’re not a hundred percent there yet.”

Dr. Braun is one of a handful of doctors and professionals who are adamantly, and radically, opposed to labiaplasties as well as other forms of FGCS like vaginoplasties and hoodectomies. Both vaginoplasties, which involve the “rejuvenation” or tightening of the vagina, and hoodectomies, also called clitoral unhooding, are meant to enhance sexual pleasure (and neither, it bears mentioning, are performed by Dr. Mosser).

To hear Dr. Braun explain it, there is a huge lack of knowledge surrounding genital diversity for women. “Women who have nose jobs or breast enlargements have a huge pool of comparison to draw from. They’ve seen probably thousands of noses every day, and even though we maybe don’t [often] see naked breasts, we certainly know what breasts look like.”

So where are women like Westman, who yearn for their vulvas of yesteryear, drawing their comparisons from? As Dr. Deborah Tolman, a professor of social welfare at Hunter College School of Social Work and author of Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk about Sexuality puts it, “What happened in the last three years to make women’s labias so big that they can’t walk around with them?”

If the accounts from surgeons and the media are to be believed, pornography is a major influence in what women believe is desirable. While women might not be trading notes on their vaginal proportions, they have become increasingly comfortable with mainstream pornography and that leads to one dimensional representations of what vulvas look like. Add to that the phenomenon that is the Brazilian Bikini wax, where all but the smallest trace of pubic hair is removed, and women are getting the HD version of their vulvas outside of a biology class for the first time.

Controlling Women’s Bodies

The phenomenon, argued Dr. Tolman, is just another means of asserting externalized control over women’s sexuality; testament to the profound dearth of education that both women and men have about women’s bodies.

“It is in only such a vacuum that such notions of what are good and right and normal can be insinuated,” she said. “If we have other regularized ways, and by that I mean ongoing knowledge and discussion about what women’s bodies are really like, then it would be much harder for this kind of thing to sneak in and start to look normal.”

Both Dr. Braun and Dr. Tolman speak from a social constructionist perspective, where desire is understood as a learned behavior, and is not something innate or biologically wired. In other words, people learn to desire such procedures. FGCS, said Dr. Tolman, are commodities to be consumed. We learn to become consumers of surgery:

“We don’t want it. I mean we think we want it. It feels like we want it … but I think that the observation that this has only been going on for the last couple of years is testament to how this has not been a ‘forever’ quality of women’s lives.”

Then what with all the women who truly feel as though FGCS will better their quality of life? Are we simply to ignore them? Tell them that they don’t really know, or understand for that matter, what they really want?

“Individual choice is not the only criterion,” argued Dr. Leonore Tiefer, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine and Albert Einstein College of Medicine. According to Dr. Tiefer, it is the publicity surrounding cosmetic services that generate discontent. For example, medical makeover shows like Dr. 90210 create a context for which women learn to become dissatisfied with their bodies and genitals, and start wondering how they to might benefit from the procedures, which according to the shows’ doctors, promise better sex for both women and their partners.

Said Dr. Tiefer, “I do not condone doctors having free reign to advertise labiaplasty without scientific evidence of its benefits and lack of long-term harm. Nor do I condone doctors having before-and-after photos on their websites because of the lack of popularly-available information about the range of normal labia.”

As one of the foremost critics of “disease-mongering” trends in the medical management of women’s sexual problems, Dr. Tiefer maintains that while the rhetoric of choice and sexual pleasure around FGCS may legitimate and promote the procedures, all FGCS really produce is a generic model of women’s genitalia. Even worse, it pathologizes female genital diversity. So enraged is Dr. Tiefer, that in 2000 she founded The New View Campaign, an organization devoted to stopping all form of FGCS. The group compares FGCS to Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).

Understandably, most people find that comparison shocking. By and large, individuals from outside the specific cultures that perform FGM regard the practice as foreign and incomprehensible. But, points out Dr. Braun, “In both cases, what’s being done is that women’s genitalia are being altered to conform to a certain set of notions and expectations about what genitalia should look like, what they need to look like if they are to be appropriately feminine and appropriately desirable.”

Even the narratives of women who have undergone FGM and FGCS are similar, with women saying things like, “this is important to me to have genitals that look normal, that look appropriate, that are right,” said Dr. Braun. And although there are big differences as well, some of the same sorts of ideas about norms of what bodies should be like, and that woman’s genitals are an appropriate place to intervene, run across both.

Women’s Choice: A Question of Quality of Life

Nonetheless, Dr. Mosser doubts that the woman with labia hypertrophy who is uncomfortable engaging in intercourse, and is uncomfortable walking down the street, and is uncomfortable looking at her naked body in the mirror, would agree with the comparison. That person, said Dr. Mosser, “would consider it not to be an external pressure but a correction of something which will improve her quality of life.”

Either way, women like Westman would do best to get to know their genitals as they are and should be. If nothing else, it’s a whole lot cheaper.

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7 Ways to Rev Up Your Lover’s Libido

Thursday, May 21, 2009

isp_sexylingeriebw

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”

1. Entice your partner with orgasm exploration. Read up on the many types of peaking men and women can have, and let your lover know that you want to explore how both of you can reach new climactic heights.

2. Incorporate fantasy throughout the day. Plant seeds in your partner’s head of things you know spark interest. Share a hot thought you had involving an erotic moment you once shared. Describe body parts you miss touching and how you’re consumed with longing. Rent a movie with a sexy or romantic storyline. Pursue anything that will put your lover in a sensual state of mind.

3. Stay connected when you do have sex. Don’t make sex about physical gratification alone. Truly worship your lover and hail the lovemaking as a celebratory experience ― one you can’t get enough of.

4. Keep things novel and spicy in and out of the bedroom. In exploring what turns both of you on when it comes to sex, you can broaden your sexual repertoire. You want to make your lover feel like you’re embarking on an adventure, not just going for a simple roll in the hay.

5. Look your best. While we can’t look like our supermodel selves 24/7, putting effort into your appearance helps you put out more persuasions. You’ll be harder to resist.

6. Engage in verbal foreplay. While men often need sex to feel loved, women often need to feel loved before they engage in sex. The more you engage in all types of erotic talk ― affectionate, romantic, sexy ― the more you’ll pique your lover’s interest.

7. Consider how you size up sexual satisfaction. Does sex always have to end in intercourse? Many couples will tell you that they have great sex without engaging in intercourse at all. So rethink your pleasure and the different ways you can realize sexual satisfaction that don’t necessarily require going “all the way.”

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

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